[ P r o v o k e d ! ]

Another shit thing had happened to me earlier! Someone just said something and it made me think of all negative things.. Its not her fault, but her words remind me of something I had been thinking previously.. I gave myself a reason to not feeling the way I used to feel.. and it did help.. I didn't think about that negative thing already.. but when this person repeat the things I used to think.. I felt provoked and started to think whether my previous thoughts are real or am I thinking too much.. in any way, I just felt provoked and i really hold grudge towards the related people but not the person who said the 'sentence'! Stupid! =.=

[ U n b e a r a b l e A t m o s p h e r e ]

What's more shit than feeling awkward all the time.. These two months are like hell to me.. I hate being in a new environment.. I'm totally reluctant to anything new! I know I got to face it eventually, but I don't want to have this feeling especially when I'm only in my twenties! My workplace is not cool at all.. The people are freaks, well maybe they thought I were one too.. I'm going for the happy go lucky type of girl but I totally can't do it in this kind of atmosphere.. Why? Because I'm invisible here! Why? Because people never noticed I existed? Why? Because they think I'm deaf! Arghh.. I hope everyhting ends sooner than soon! Wish granted? Santa! I hate the skinny frog-like creature around me!

The Memory_Park Yong Ha

Album The Memory - Park Yong Ha | ilovekpop | Nghe - tải - chia sẻ nhạc | Zing Mp3

In loving memory Park Yong Ha.. I dreamed of him yesterday night, although I don't even know his real name when I first watch his drama yet I feel sorrowful when I saw the news of him leaving this world. I don't know why I dreamed of him and I'm not really a hard die fan of him but I guessed I must say that I miss him after his absence. As I'm listening to his songs, my heart feels heavy, a feeling of hard to let go. I'm afraid of this feeling, if God allows.. I wish the people I love never leaves me and I will never leave them. I want us to stay together, I want us to be happy and live together although its difficult physically but at least please let our heart stays together let me feel the presence of all the one I loved and loves.

[ 我 爱 我 的 名 字 ]

虽然我的名字在别人眼中很奇怪但是我很喜欢! 因为它很特别~ 世界上应该没有人有我的名字吧.. 我的华语名字很普通.. 但是我的英文名却是独一无二的~ 虽然很多人都叫错我的名.. 可是没关系啦.. 特别就好.. xD I'm actually proud of my name.. =D No matter what others said..

[ T h a t F e e l i n g ]

Today, it seems like my 'old friend' had come to visit me after a rather long time.. Not really a 'friend' I welcomed but it just appear to be with me as it always do.. especially whenever someone around me seems to be more distant from me.. I never forget that feeling.. the feeling of emptiness.. Although I do feel scared sometimes, but I learnt to let it go I guessed.. I tend to enclose it in my heart in the past but I found out that letting it go may be a wiser choice to make.. I really wishes you happily ever after.. Sincerely from me.. I wish only the best for you.. =)

[ 永 远 的 第 一 天 ]

深夜

Deep in the night

机场冷清

Emptiness fills the airport
好安静

Silence in the air
我终于看见了你

Finally, I get to see you
穿着风衣提着行李听着md 走来走去

You, who were wearing long coat, carrying luggage, listening to MD.. While you were walking around
回忆

Memories
钻进心里

Deep inside my heart
全是你

Is all you
我走过去抱紧你

I came to you and hugged you dearly
你的声音你的芙容你的泪滴回到我怀里

Your voice, your smile, your tears are in my embracement again
你答应我今天飞来

You promised me to fly here
带着你迟来的真爱

Bringing along your late but true love
就飞过大海

Across the great ocean
带爱情回来

Bringing back the love
今天看见

Today I see
永远的第一天

The eternal first day
终于实现

At last realized
我和你的诺言

The promise between you and me
时间将一切拉远

Time had distant everything
爱在心里

Love in the heart
没有改变

Never changes
今天看见

Today, I saw
爱飞过地平线

Love fly across the horizon

让我说完

Allow me to finish
我对你的誓言

My promise to you
这是另一个起点

This is another beginning
我一定爱你到永远

I will love you till eternity

(ooh今天看见爱的第一天)

回忆

Memories
钻进心里

Deep inside my heart
全是你

All is you
我走过去抱紧你

I came to you and hugged you dearly
你的声音

Your voice
你的笑容

Your smile
你的泪滴

Your tears
回到我怀里

Return to my embracement
你答应我今天飞来

You promised to fly by today

我要在这一杪中说i love you…wu baby

From this second onward, I want say that I love you.. Baby
说永远不分开

Tell you that we will never be apart for eternity

[ 时 间 会 带 走 一 些 回 忆 ]

随着时间的流失, 我们会发现其实很多东西和回忆都会被遗忘.. 它们还存在可是已经被锁在内心的深处.. 可能某时候它们会被想起但是已经很模糊了.. 除非印象很深刻,否则都会想不起某些细节.. 然而有时侯那些细节往往是整个事情的快乐来源.. 我没能说在我内心深处的回忆是什么.. 我只希望在我脑海里, 在我心里的画面都是美好的.. 不开心的就让它被遗忘吧.. 可是我们并不能忘记我们学过的教训和悲伤的根源.. 我们要学会从过错而反省, 那才是对的想法..

Let by gones be by gones,

Let blissful memories be remembered and let sorrowful experiences be forgotten.

[ 你 不 知 道 的 事 _ 王 力 宏 ]

蝴蝶眨几次眼睛 才学会飞行

夜空洒满了星星 但几颗会落地

我飞行 但你坠落之际

很靠近 还听见呼吸

对不起 我却没捉紧你

你不知道我为什么离开你

我坚持不能说放任你哭泣

你的泪滴像 倾盆大雨

碎了满地 在心里清晰

你不知道我为什么狠下心

盘旋在你看不见的高空里

多的是 你不知道的事

蝴蝶眨几次眼睛 才学会飞行

夜空洒满了星星 但几颗会落地

我飞行 但你坠落之际

很靠近 还听见呼吸

对不起 我却没捉紧你

你不知道我为什么离开你

我坚持不能说放任你哭泣

你的泪滴像 倾盆大雨

碎了满地 在心里清晰

你不知道我为什么狠下心

盘旋在你看不见的高空里

多的是 你不知道的事

我飞行 但你坠落之际

你不知道我为什么离开你

我坚持不能说放任你哭泣

你的泪滴像 倾盆大雨

碎了满地 在心里清晰

你不知道我为什么狠下心

盘旋在你看不见的高空里

多的是 你不知道的事

[ 以 前 的 我 ]

哈哈... 看到以前我写的东西真的很好笑.. 不愧是无知的我呵~ 也发现原来我也暗恋过许多人,可是都没办法告白... 真是有点笨的啦.. 除非我疯了或是不懂受到什么澈激.. 不然永远都不可能会有勇气的啦~! xD

[ 希 望 不 会 死 掉 ]

BRM 已经告一段落了... 希望不会拿到非常差的成绩吧~ 要读书了, 考试日期快到了.. 大家加油吧!!! xD

[ 静 静 的 ]

独自坐在一个没有人的教室, 开着电脑, 在面书里发泄了我的冤气... 发现我又回到了以前的我... 总是想不开的我... 总是喜欢哀怨的我... 总是喜欢发脾气的我... 让所有人都不开心... 有人被我气得说不出话... 有人左右为难.. 有人不知所错... 最糟糕的是我对妈的语气不好... 多希望问题会自己解决掉, 不用烦到人...

[ D e s p i c a b l e ! ]

Mahkluk yang binasa menjadi sebab untuk semua perkara dashyat yang berlaku di sekeliling saya!

You are nothing but a villain that I wish to eliminate!

[ A n n o u n c e m e n t 2 ]

I'm officially 20 years old~!!!

Happy birthday kpk.. haha..

[ A n n o u n c e m e n t ]

I officially lost someone!

[ I D o n ' t K n o w Y o u A n y m o r e ]

Why do I feel nothing when I know you are coming back? Where was the anticipation I used to have whenever I know you will be back soon? I used to admire you so much and wanted to be just like you. You are my role model, you are my goal, you are my light, you are my... hmm.. How I wished you are back to who you were. Why did you change because of her? Why did you become like this? Where was your passion? Where was the caring you? I don't know you anymore, I'm scared that I might lose you.. You care only about her, what about us? You don't want us anymore? I know you have your life, but recently your words just made me worried.. You never said something like that to me. Why did you said so now? Is it because of her? You're not you anymore after you know her.. At least you are not the one I know since I was small back then.. Please come back.. Please..

[ A s T i m e P a s s e s B y ]

I'm feeling very lost, I don't know what is the aim of my life. I try to be optimistic almost about everything but the depression within me just won't fade away. Who can light my way? I wasted my youth just like that. I didn't achieve anything.. I didn't plan for my future life.. What am I going to be in ten years time? Who am I in ten years time? As time passes by, I can only feel my life is shorten.. I can only feel that time is just not enough..

[ E c l i p s e ]

I don't want to see you feeling blue

I don't want to see your light is gone

[ I t H a s T o B e Y o u ]

Today, i wander in my memory

I’m pasing around on the end of this way

You’re still holding me tightly, even though i can’t see you any more

I’m losing my way again

I’m praying to the sky i want see you and hold you more

that i want to see you and hold you more

It can’t be if it’s not you

i can’t be without you

it’s okay if i’m hurt for a day and a year like this

it’s fine even if my heart’s hurts

yes because i’m just in love with you

i cannot send you away one more time

i can’t live without you

it can’t be if it’s not you

i can’t be without you

it’s okay if i’m hurt for a day and a year like this

it’s fine even if my heart’s hurts

yes because i’m just in love with you

my bruised heart

is screaming to me to find you

where are you?

can’t you hear my voice?

to me…

if i live my life again

if i’m born over and over again

i can’t live without you for a day

You’re the one i will keep

you’re the one i will love

i’m…yes because i’m happy enough if i could be with you

[ 还 好 ]

虽然姐不在身边但生活还过得去啦! 一直依赖她也不行呵~ 哈哈..已经二十岁了... 要独立了啦! >< 但是希望她不要丢下我不管哦~ xD

Hmm..还记得以前哥要去国外工作的时候,我还会因他而流下想思之泪..虽然姐的goodbye hug有一点让我觉得伤感..但是我没有哭..我就一直告诉自己她会回来的啦! 就微笑的看着她上飞机了~hehe.. 突然觉得我也很想像姐一样出国体会一下不同的世界..xD 说就容易啦! 哈哈.. 我知道我没有勇气也不能离开家人半步的~ 哈哈 想想就算了.. 希望以后会和我的亲人一起去韩国吧..那是我暂时最大的心愿!!! xD

姐!我没有很dramatic的哭哦~有点后悔tiam..哈哈..一定要表扬一下你有多好的嘛~让你的朋友知道一下!!! xD

[ 心声 ]

So close

So close

And still so far

[ 原 来 他 不 帅 ]

我怎么都没想到原来每个人帅的定义和价值观都不一样，他在别人眼中显得不帅但是的确是吸引到我看他．．可能是时候看看别的人人都赞同的美男了．．希望能遇见吧．．哈哈．．看下也好嘛~xD

[ 我 只是 陌生 人]

我明白

我了解

我懂得

我记得

请上帝

让我忘了吧

谢谢 =]

不要让我想起不想想起的事..

[ W h a t A t t r a c t s M e ? ]

I really like guys with smiling eyes and strong perfect jawlines! Irresistible..

And most of all guys with perfect fair and flawless skin.. =D

Can't help falling in love with all these attributes..

[ F i r s t D a y ]

Yesterday (since it had passed 12am) xD was the first day I worked with my new supervisor, I was anxious at first but I was relieved right after I started my work. Its not that bad, for first day xD I hope it continues like that.. Hehe.. Hmm.. My supervisor seemed very young and happy go lucky kindda girl which really makes me feel comfortable working for her.. My job yesterday were doing some document scanning and arranging the magazines in the rack.. Its a pretty easy job, and I have completed 3 hours for such easy task.. I hope my working period will be as easy going as yesterday.. Hope I can maintain a good relationship with my new supervisor and cooperates well.. xD

[ 人 真 的 很 现 实 ! ]

今天看了某些人的反应, 真的觉得这世界上人类都是现实的东西! 需要你的时候就会"死缠烂打"不要了就当你是透明人! 有够够力的啦! 今天总算让我看清楚你! 很不想这么说, 但是你真的是活该!!!

[ I H a t e F a r e w e l l s ]

The above is my farewell email for my scholarship supervisor who had been there for me for few semesters. I've been seeing her for almost a year. Hmm.. I'm really gonna miss her very much. She really had made my scholarship working period so easy and I doubt whether I can find someone like her in the future of my working period. I wishes her all the best in her career~! I'll never forget her.. =]

[ N e w C o l o u r , N e w C h a p t e r o f M y L i f e ]

My favourite colour is no longer black

Why?

I got inspired through a movie entitled Boogieman

In the movie a boy was asked, "What is your favourite colour?"

He answered, "Black"

The person replied, "Black is not a colour, black is no colour so it cannot be considered as a colour."

The person add on, "Well, white is all colour and black is of no colour. Its the rule of the spectrum of light."

The boy did not said anything in reply.

Hmm..

My favourite colour had always been black, it hadn't change in so many years. From this movie, I found out that I've always been 'no colour'. That's why sometimes I feel like I was alone and sorrowful, but everything change now, I am confirm that I am not 'black' anymore instead I AM 'White'. Life is full of ups and downs, cheerful atmosphere might be represented by bright colour such as yellow, blissfulness portrayed through colours like purple and white, and anger represented by red perhaps..

Life is all colours and I had indeed accepted this fact, I won't be no colour anymore instead I am colourful..

All colours are my favorite now except pink, I am still doubting whether am I able to accept pink~ xD

[ 不 爽 ]

我不喜欢别人拿某种事情来开玩笑

一点都不好笑!

不要让我白白的瞎担心! 我可没那么好脾气!

你也懂我的! 就别再有下一次! 我是认真的!

[ 我 beh song ! ]

If you are not coming back! I'm going to kill myself..

[ 别 人 不 能 理 解 的 痛 ]

Scary thoughts filled my head.. I don't know what will happen in the future.. I don't have the power to make things right.. I'm just like any other ordinary person.. I want a happy family with happy parents and siblings.. Yet, all my wishes are breaking apart.. How do you feel when you see a family arguing so hard because of some foreigner perhaps stranger.. Bond between families is fading away in front of your own eyes.. Although I know there are so much people out there facing more serious problem than I do but for me this is worse enough and I doubt whether I can take more.. I try to soothe myself by sharing it with friends but I found that it is useless.. Nothing and no one can do anything for me.. My head is just as hard as rock, I can't think of anything and the chillness in my heart won't fade away whenever I think of this matter.. My heart aches when I see own people is hurting own people.. People might think it is a small problem but family is the most important thing to me.. Foundation of my life.. If a family can't be a place to rest my head, I doubt there are somewhere else for me..

You might never see this but I really hope you can think back, how we used to be a happy family and now that she comes into our life, everything changed. You have changed, you might not noticed that everyone are giving their best to accept her presence. Please just believe that your family won't hurt you whatsoever.. We will only try our best to protect you, we never want you to be alone.. Today, we respect your decision perhaps forcefully but we won't give up on you.. We will always be the place for you to lean your tired heart and mind. I just hope you can open your eyes and see that. I pray to God to give you every happiness because you are the one I love, this love is not the same as the love everyone pursues, it won't fade.. It will only grow stronger, family loves you my brother.